Where the hell have I been? Well, cliff notes:
1. I graduated from SDSU.
I earned my B.A in English and I’m applying to grad school for my masters and credential, and this will lead me on the path to earning my Ph.D. These are big goals and not new ones and something the younger me always had in mind. I’ve always envisioned having “Dr.” in front of my last name: Dr. Ursua and it’s time to achieve that #childofimmigrants.
2. I did a powerlifting meet. I set some PRs in a lighter weight class and I jumped in after finding one that fit the right time frame for my figure prep because I’m still bodybuilding.
3. I have two hernias #fml.
Now somewhere in between all that is a bigger thing in the background: treatment for my PTSD.
So my main objective the last couple months was to graduate. I had to weed out what was time-consuming. I avoided Facebook (best decision ever) and I stopped blogging but I maintained my IG. Now I’m in the application process for grad school and lucky for me, I’m such a nerd that my GPA gave me a pass from taking the GRE. I would’ve been done sooner with my B.A but military moves and a growing family took center stage. I wasn’t a traditional student from the get-go #surprisesurprise but nonetheless, I achieved a professional life goal.
My powerlifting meet was out on a whim. I didn’t focus on the normal cheesy powerlifter countdown (blank) (blank) weeks out schemata. I think that is what kept me from being overly anxious about it and I had bigger fish to fry lol.
Anywho, during my prep, I had abdominal issues but I dismissed the pain as me losing a protective layer of fat and I had to get used to my belt. However, the pain persisted and I would look at lifting with complete dread. Every time I would get ready to squat, I would be scared to get under the bar. But being the type of individual I am, I persisted. WELL until I had a weird lump pop out of my abdomen not once but twice. SON of A!!!!! Yup, it’s a hernia. And of course, after those two episodes, it just kept happening. I did get the OK from my doc to continue to lift, but he said the minute I couldn’t pop it back in, to head to the ER.
SO I ended up doing my meet and of course, it wasn’t without some hernia problem. I had to deal with painful constipation, due to the type of a hernia I have and because of my self-treatment for it. The night before, my abdomen hurt so bad I almost went to the ER. BUT being the type of individual that I am, I chose to sleep it off and I waited it out. There’s a pattern here 🤔…
(AND No one knew because I’m a stubborn heffer 🤣. I was making it at all costs.)
Success. My meet went as good as it could go under my abdominal circumstances and even better. I opened with my squat and deadlift 3rd attempts, which, was my number one goal. Bench, however, could have gone smoother, and I blame myself for it. I already know what I need to do and I’m looking forward to hopping back on meet prepping to surpass my lifting PRs. Especially bench since I have a strong bench teacher in my corner to help me reach that goal 😎#teamMeatheads. And after taking care of my hernia #ABsofSteel here we come!!!
Anywho, I added to my total at 165# BW. Now what? Well, my hernia is number one priority because it turns out I have two. An epigastric one and an umbilical hernia and this will put me out for 6 weeks. NO lifting anything over 20#s or doing exercises that make me bear down on my abdomen. As for bodybuilding, I will continue the course, however, staying healthy is number one priority because I’m in the strength game for the long run and I’m not bringing a half-ass package to the stage. Not how I roll.
PTSD. Well, where do I start with that?🤔 It’s a taboo subject, even though there are countless veteran PTSD announcements splattered across social media, but they are devoid of putting a face to it. Am I oversharing here? Maybe, maybe not but if I can help anyone suffering in silence to reach out if they aren’t ok, then I don’t care about oversharing. I’ve lived with PTSD for over 20 years and if there’s an analogy I can use to describe how it feels this is how: it’s like carrying a heavy backpack full of bricks. Eventually, it gets so heavy you can’t carry it anymore. If you know me in person, you know I don’t like asking for help and I just keep trucking forward, but sometimes you get tired and stall. I reached that point, so I got help and I’m happy I did. PTSD robbed me of many happy moments and I lost chunks of time because of it. But I’ll dive more into that in a future blog post because Nena is awake now.🙏🏽
Anywho, I will say this, lifting has kept me afloat throughout my treatment process and some days I got it in me to keep fighting, other days it weighs me down BUT I’m one stubborn woman, or as my son says I’m tenacious.
I’m not done fighting.🙏🏽🖤
And I’m 19 weeks out 🤣…haha time to work.